A Joke For You

[Daytek]

SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT CYCLE

by

David Lubar

Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program
shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and
twelve-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an
elaborate path through the most rigid quality control methods on the
planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the
inside details of the program development cycle.


1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

2. Product is tested. Twenty bugs are found.

3. Programmer fixes ten of the bugs and explains to the testing.
department that the other ten aren't really bugs.

4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and
discovers fifteen new bugs.

5. See 3.

6. See 4.

7. See 5.

8. See 6.

9. See 7.

10. See 8.

11. Due to marketing pressure and extremely pre-mature product
announcement based on over-optimistic programming schedule, the product
is released.

12. Users find 137 new bugs.

13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to
be found.

14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs,
but introduces 456 new ones.

15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard
from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.

16. Company is bought in hostile takeover by competitor using profits
from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.

17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to
redo program from scratch.

18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

19. See 2.


Copyright © 1996 by David Lubar

---------------
thought you might like this.

daytek

[Frank McCoy]

Post by Daytek
SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT CYCLE
by
David Lubar
Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program
shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and
twelve-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an
elaborate path through the most rigid quality control methods on the
planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the
inside details of the program development cycle.
1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. Twenty bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes ten of the bugs and explains to the testing.
department that the other ten aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and
discovers fifteen new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and extremely pre-mature product
announcement based on over-optimistic programming schedule, the product
is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to
be found.
14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs,
but introduces 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard
from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in hostile takeover by competitor using profits
from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to
redo program from scratch.
18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
19. See 2.
Copyright ?1996 by David Lubar
---------------
thought you might like this.
daytek

Heh, heh. Sounds close; but I could make a few corrections.
;-}

[OscarBravoBravo]

Hah! I thought that was your joke...
Sorry Sir, but you have a good sense of humor too, I presume...

[Frank McCoy]

Post by OscarBravoBravo
Hah! I thought that was your joke...
Sorry Sir, but you have a good sense of humor too, I presume...

Oh yeah ... and I've BEEN through that very design cycle.
;-}

[OscarBravoBravo]

Hahahaaa, I like it!
Yep, that the Real McCoy right there!
Good sense of humor there, my friend!

[Frank McCoy]

Post by OscarBravoBravo
Hahahaaa, I like it!
Yep, that the Real McCoy right there!
Good sense of humor there, my friend!

Hmmm?
Must have missed something this was a reply to.
I'll be frank ... I'm the Real McCoy.
Hey, if *I* can't be Frank, then who will be?

[OscarBravoBravo]

Ahh Frank, I was just laughing, come on...
I know you are, but you have to admit...People CAN act like they are
someone they aren't... Not that you aren't the real McCoy or anything like
that, but it's possible with others, am I not right?
Like your Signature!
Good Luck ;)

P.S. Do you listen to Coast to Coast AM?

[Frank McCoy]

Post by OscarBravoBravo
Ahh Frank, I was just laughing, come on...
I know you are, but you have to admit...People CAN act like they are
someone they aren't... Not that you aren't the real McCoy or anything like
that, but it's possible with others, am I not right?
Like your Signature!

Well ... SO FAR, nobdy has tried to be me.
I guess being somebody who writes the kid of stories I do isn't all
that popular an idea. ;-}

Post by OscarBravoBravo
Good Luck ;)
P.S. Do you listen to Coast to Coast AM?

No. USED to, a long time ago.
The old joke goes about the gal who gets home all bedraggled after a
weekend away; and her roommate asks what happened.

It seems her boyfriend didn't want her to go ... So he asked her to
stay ... "Just until this radio program is over." So, she agreed.

"So ... What's wrong with that?" asked her friend.

"Did you ever hear of a program called, 'Monitor'?"